Webster's poeku

Today's Poeku comes in the form of definitions via Urban Dictionary:

kickball
-Kickball is a game of passion, of tears, of blood. It is the single greatest game ever conceived, besting even that of a good game of dodgeball. Technically kickball isn't a game of tears and blood, but a good game is marked by the presence of these two elements (as well as a correctly sized (approx. 10") Red Rubber Ball).

-Kickball, like "diaper" is one of those words that SHOULD become slightly embarrassing when paired with "adult". Something you'd rather not exhibit in public. (not true)

-The mad illest game takin' over the whole east coast.


bitcher
-An increasingly more common typo of the word "butcher".


camp
-that which you cannot help but miss; a place which is incomprehensible to anyone else but those who have gone there.

slosh ball
Slosh ball is the act of getting very drunk and then play a game such as kick ball.

Crazy Chickens!

Look at these Crazy Chickens!!!

A guest poeku

In honor of Poeku Tuesday, I bring you this poem by Corey of the Third Grade:

I like kickball,
It is fun.
I like to kick,
But not to run.

I like when Andrew's on my team.
We always get home runs.
We try not to be so mean.
We play until we're done.

I wonder if he's boozing on Thursday.

Best mems

When Divya took off her cardigan.

Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVAN. EVIE, EEEP!

Ladies and Gentlemen...the nerdiest cab riders ever

Done and done

Does anyone remember this?

An open question for Stephane

King Steph, what was that minty fresh shot we took last night?

I blame that for my tardiness this morning.

Or Nick's tequila. Yup, it was the tequila. How many times do I have to remind myself, never again?!

Memories

Last night was a great way to end the season. I don't remember nearly as much as I should, but here goes:

- The entire back area, including the orange team, screaming at the top of their lungs. Between that and the sharpee craziness, Evan needs to start trademarking everything he does.
- That creepy tall guy in the button down shirt who was hanging around our team. He seemed really familiar. Does anyone else recognize him? I think he was a priest, because he kept calling himself father nick or something.
- The manager coming over to tell us (Rachel??) that he loved star wars but we needed to stop the lightsaber fights.

Mems

Ok...every week at the bar I think, "Kristy, remember that for your favorite memory!." And every week those bud light pitchers get the best of me and I never remember. This week my brain cells kicked in and I made notes of my favorite memories in my phone...until bud light got the best of me and I forgot to take notes but I do have some so let's go!

Let's begin at Boss Tweeds shall we?

Evan: Please everyone. Do not let me drink after 10/10:30 pm. I have a very important interview tomorrow. I have left the sharpies at home.
Kristy: You're telling me that you don't have the self control to just not draw all over yourself if a sharpie is near by.
Evan: Seriously, Kristy?


Bring it to Pourhouse, ok?

Rick: I think I did something to my neck. Does anyone have Aspirin?
Kristy: It must have been when you hit the fence.
Rick: I knew this was going to happen. My horoscope said, "Don't make any sudden movements."

Then Lianne gave Rick a sensual massage.



I convinced some guy (same guy Rachel talked about..see below) that I was Peurto Rican.

Waiting on line for the bathroom sucks...waiting online for the bathroom for more than 4 minutes sucks more and i start to get mad. No one should take that long. Pop a squat. Pull up stretchy pants (seriously...no one but Stephane wears jeans in that bar) wash hands. Exit. So when this person exceeded 6 minutes (yes I time people so I do not go to excessive measures for no reason) I started KICKING the door. I wasn't even next. I had two more girls in front of me and I wanted to let them know I do not stand for this shit. Of course....some girl with pigtails and a pound of glitter on her face runs out of the bathroom. Wait...was it David Bowie? Go away. But the other two girls did their deeds flawlessly and in a timely manner! Mischief managed.

I can't wait till next season becuase I know my time will come when that girl who changes into cocktail dresses and booty shorts at the bar will endure my wrath. She will rue the day!

I really loved when WRTL won bar champs.....(cue screeching record sound)

Favorite memory time

Rick's drunken email and subsequent belting of "I will remember you...." with Kristy.

Also, convincing some guy on Saved by the Balls (?) that he won bar champs. I was wrong.

3rd place, bitches

A Timeline of WOLWSB

At the start of the season Rick asked me how WOLWSB came to be.....

Me too

Famous words from Nicholas "Poppa Nick" DeManigold

Nicholas: haha i liked kristies poku

hiku

me: what was it

Nicholas: the b on c

Nicholas: that is how you become a poppa!

I can't believe he spelled Captain KRISTY'S name wrong. I can't believe he said that. Yes I can.

The painted lady

divya got a tattoo? frankly, i'm surprised it's not a tramp stamp. - Danny

What do you do when you're not playing kickball?

I email my kickball team. At least 10 times a day on 4 different threads.

What do YOU do when YOU'RE not playing kickball?

B's on the C

Nick should stop putting his B's on his C because he might get pink eye.
If he gets pink eye he will never come out.
Oh wait....he doesnt anyway.


Nick should stop putting his B's on his C because his chin will smell.
If his chin smells no one will like him.


Nick should stop putting his B's on his C because he can't play volley ball liek that.
Maybe he can play kickball like that.

Nick should stop putting his B's on his C because poppas don't do that.

Bar Champ Triple Crown..maybe

Thank you, Jason!

last game poeku

bye bye spring kball
hello summer! bring sun please!
not over yet b's

Danielle likes to spell

you WISH you lived with us!

me: burned my mouth on the pizza last night

Danielle: eeks sorry

that was good pizza

did you sign up for that field day thing yet?

with nycssc

me: not yet but i will

Danielle: ok me too

i'm ganna do it on sunday

we better remember our sunscreen that day

i don't want another lewstock situation in the woods

me: hell no, we wont burn

Danielle: hell no we won't go

what are you plans this weekedn?

me: well my roommate is going to a dance show tonight bc she was on the team at fit, so im going to my friends bday thing

Danielle: lol

you're make me laugh

i meant you

sorry for the trpo

i mean typo

i know you're sensitive to those things even in your fragile hungover state

i guess you can't use this as a status cuz there are too many typo's.

i apologize for any inconvenience.

i'm bored

not really, just procrastinating

me: am i bia?

Danielle: haha

jew kmow it

know

i'm typing with one hand

me: what are you doing with the other?

Danielle: holding my sandwich

me: do i want to know?

oh

that reminds me of alanis morissette

Danielle: i got one hang on my key board and they other one is holding a sandwich

sing it

sounds good, right?

me: i can't sing out loud right now, but it sounds good in my head

Danielle: i sang it in my head too

Get you beach on

La Luchadore at his finest

why does this cake taste like vodka?

Instead of capes....

Meh-moe-reese

One day late, but here we go:

- Danielle's birthday!
- Danny showing up to kickball
- Rachel flirting with that random German guy

how did he do it?

Squawk Squawk

Hey Josh I got somethin' real important to give you
So just sit down and listen
Boy you know you've been hungry such a long long time
(such a long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
(Wooow) You know it's dinner time and my heart is open
wide
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside -- it's a chicken in a box

An Ode to a Sad Animal

If chickens could speak, they wouldn't. They'd cry.
I ate some on Sunday, and now I know why.
Josh carries them to their death in a box. He's mean.
All in the name of kashrut - what a fiend!
Nick likes to watch them suffer. In fact he's dated a few.
Jason eats them live and kicking - not even in stew!
Zack serves them at his restaurant, though his cooking is swell.
If you hear his butcher screaming, it's just as well.
Danny posts pictures of his food on his blog with a word.
Would he put chicken in an omelet? That's cruel and absurd.
So next time you eat chicken, think about this.
If they told you how they felt, they'd probably give you a kiss.

poeku bitches

instead of a traditional poeku today, i bring to you some beautiful words from lil kim.  she uses the word "bitch" in an extraordinary way.  a way i never thought of.  let's all learn a thing or 2 from lil kim's use of "bitch".

in response to nicki minaj's tweet which she deleted soon after she tweeted:

"What type of coward lame ass bitch tweets some shit and then deletes it. REAL bitches stand by what      they say BOZO…
You cheap stocking cap glued $10 bag hair wig wearing bitch. Get a lace front!!! FYI Indian hair don't come in green BITCH…
You free lunch eating bitch…WHAT!!!
Bitch I see you crawling!!! I got my can of RAID. Come get it!!! #TwitterRoach !!!!"

 check it out here on my most visited site...after this one of course!

The verdict is in

You have been selcted by a jury of your peers to be the MVP of WOLWSB!!!> <---like my lawyer talk?
The parties hereby irrevocably and unconditionally waive, to thefullest extent permitted by applicable law, any right that they mayhave to trial by jury of any claim or cause of action, or in any legalproceeding, directly or indirectly based upon or arising out of thisagreement.

I feel it's my moral obligation to let you know I was talking to Danielle> earlier and she told me you didn't deserve to be MVP! What do you have to> say about that?
Bitch.

Well I think you do deserve it! How does it feel to be the MVP of a kickball team that has yet to win a game?
The only thing better than winning the Special Olympics is ice cream.

I should tell you that I was talking to Rick earlier and he told me that> your shorts sucked because they didn't have sharks on them. Harsh I know. If you could have any animal on your shorts, what animal would it be?
Danielle.

Rachel just told me that you put on a whole bottle of axe body spray before> every game. Do you object?
Common misconception. What Rachel's really smelling/tasting is 100%pure JBC musk. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.


The Yankees are to winning as the Mets are to_____?
Jason's a Mets fan and has always looked to model his legal careerafter Gloria Allred, so she's most qualified to fill in this blank.Cue this video to 1:53 for my visual response:
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=c768a07d-3b51-4591-963e-3966a27b39b9

Faye just told me that you get your hair professionaly done before every game. Guilty or innocent?
hahahahahahah. Innocent but barely. I get my hair cut every twoweeks from an Italian barber I've been going to since before most ofyou were born. Inexplicably, he calls me, and I answer to, "Sean."

So exactly how many hours a day do you practice blue steel?
How am I supposed to practice blue steel if I can't turn left? Butseriously, six or seven's pretty normal for an average weekday.

I know you drink beer out of a pitcher. Is that what you drink orange mocha frapachinos out of too?
About a year ago, Stephane and I were drinking superpitchers at the(tragically) now-closed Cosmic Cantina at one of their outdoor tables. Some dude spotted me from across the street, started screaming "BenStiller!" and asked me for my autograph. After failed attempts toconvince him otherwise, I signed a napkin and made it out to hisnephew with love. I don't see the resemblance in the least.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_pEdeq-nOc

Curry up and read me

I need to tell you that I was just talking to Danielle and she told me that you didn't deserve to be MVP. What do you have to say about that?
Danielle can stick it where the sun don't shine. Just kidding! She can stick it up her ass.



Well you got MVP and a new job all within a week of each other. You my friend, are having the best week ever! I have a few occupational questions for you.

You get a job at the circus. What do you do there? I fly with the greatest of ease. Also something to do with the lions, they are so pretty.

You are a professional athlete. What do you play (not kickball)? Curling, duh.

You are a famous person's assistant. Who do you work for? I would have to say Joy Behar because she eats in our cafeteria everyday so she could pay for my lunch!

Who does number 2 work for? The guy with the lucky charms! Classic scene.

You have a new album coming out. What's it called? I gotta go with The Things They Curried.


Whose wedding was better? Will and Kate's or Evan and Cherish?
Obviously Evan and Cherish! Beautiful ceremony, way better food, and I got to go!

Are you going to miss working with captain Kristy? I
will miss her every day.


How's the view from out there in right field?
Depends on who's playing first base...


Any last words?
So long suckaaaaaaas!

I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike

A big fat congrats to two WOLWSB rock stars!

Rachel and Danny are doing the 5 boro bike tour and finally checking out Staten Island! You guys are the best! Wish I was there to cheer your bike's on!


i miss my friend Danny.

I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike

A big fat congrats to two WOLWSB rock stars!

Rachel and Danny are doing the 5 boro bike tour and finally checking out Staten Island! You guys are the best! Wish I was there to cheer your bike's on!


i miss my friend Danny.